While reading Julia Wood’s Relational Communication, I identified with many of the topics discussed, perhaps none more so than the section devoted to attachment theory. The theory provided me with many new insights regarding my self-perception and my relationships with others. Throughout the reading, I find the theory accurately describing my childhood and my emotions.

According to Wood (2000), attachment theory claims that our earliest experiences decisively influence how we view ourselves, others, and relationships. Wood continues by citing studies by Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, and Wall (1978) that found that the initial bonding between a child and its primary caregiver, usually the mother, is the first and an especially formative influence on individual’s views of relationships. As a child, my stay at home mom primarily raised me. In parenting, my mother definitely displayed characteristics of the secure attachment model as she consistently responded to me in a loving, reassuring, and supportive way.

My early childhood is consistent with Wood’s analysis of influences on the likelihood that the primary caregiver will exhibit loving, nurturing, and attentive behavior. My family is upper middle class as my father as an attorney was able to financially provide for us without my mother working. However, this situation also provided a down side, as my father was constantly busy with work and other social commitments. With my father, I was not able to form the same bond present with my mother. Early memories with my father are reflections of polar opposites as I remember receiving either high praise for a job well done (usually involving school work) or criticism for failing somehow (usually involving undesirable behavior). The lack of interaction and the sharp contrast present in the limited time we spent together led to the formation of an anxious-resistant attachment model.